shake it off, carrie

2009-11-05T21:44:11Z

i had a bad cat-related dream last night. well, it started out fine, oddly enough, with us hanging out at my mother's house, with the whole family plus ben affleck and matt damon (i have no idea), possibly watching tv after thanksgiving dinner. after that, it took a bad turn. bad. bad. really bad. i won't get graphic, but it involved horrible injury to all three of my mother's feral littermates: dora, minnie and shakes.

at the point where i found dora -- laying there trembling, dying, looking up at me with the pointy little catface i see everyday, except seemingly saying "how could you let this happen?" -- i woke up, just like in a bad movie...shaking, gasping, completely freaked out. and i just couldn't get normal. i wasn't just grossed out or sad, i was terrified. i had to wake jeff so he could hug me, so he could maybe physically pull me back to the real world, and i cried hysterically, which is something i've never done in my life from a bad dream.

it took me about an hour to fall back asleep, and now all day, every time i close my eyes i see those kittehs, and especially dora's sad eyes as his life ebbed away. i just can't stop thinking about it.

what the hell was that about? and how do i get it out of my head?

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direct message to squeak.

2009-11-03T19:13:16Z

just because every time i write that a particular cat has been AWOL, he comes strolling home, i'm putting this message out there:

SQUEAK! Your mommy wants you to check in at home! I know you spent all day inside yesterday when it rained. But then you didn't sleep at home last night, and she misses you. And I'm sick of hearing "my baby's not home" every twenty minutes. So bring your cockeyed head home, eat a little, let her moocher you a few minutes, and then you can go back to wherever it is you go for days at a time. OK?

i'll update when he comes home -- let's see how long it takes. synchronize your watches: it's now 2:13pm.

UPDATE: 4:58 - it's either Leenda's voxy juju, or my sending dora out to give him the message -- one of those worked, because he was waiting by the back door. and he wants to go back out, but i'm going to slip out without letting him.

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come home, dora-doodle.

2009-10-29T19:54:30Z

my mother left last night for a business trip. i fed the cats at 6, and got them inside for the night. all except dora, who i hadn't seen since about 3 or 4. i felt terrible, but when he hadn't come back by 7, i had to go home.

when i got here this morning, there was still no sign of dora. now it's almost 4 and i keep checking, but he hasn't shown up yet.

damn it, dora! get your butt home now!

IMG_2278

UPDATE: well, the only explanation i have is that dora has a blackberry, and he saw my post. because it is now approximately 12 minutes later, and when i went to let minnie out, guess who strolled in?

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the wacky wonderful world of smudge.

2009-10-28T03:55:10Z

joel came over yesterday. he's one of the few humans willing to set foot in our apartment, and it's only so that jeff will fix his computer. smudge started out with his usual intimidation tactics, but joel doesn't take shit from a cat. for the most part, he would ignore smudge, and keep a water bottle nearby just in case. so over YEARS, smudge has gotten slightly more tolerant of the fact that this human has entered his domain and still draws breath. i think the last time joel was here, smudge gave a few half-hearted chatters, and then stalked off to stare at him from a distance.

and this time...smudge flopped down on joel's feet and rubbed himself all over his sneakers.

Hi joel

Mind if i crawl up your leg

of course, the honeymoon was over when joel left, then realized he forgot something and came back in. smudge was a hissing ball of fury, throwing himself at the very same sneakers he had loved earlier in a frenzied attack. a cat has his limits, i guess.

last night, jeff and i re-made the bed, so of course smudge came barreling in to take position under the sheet as it floated down over him. i love how he thinks he's such a freaking invisible ninja under there, attacking through the sheet. so we pulled the sheet back and tucked him in properly.

Make the bed

Tucked in

you know how smudge jumps up on my desk and tries biting me, and i push him away, and he jumps onto jeff's chair and lays on his back, grabs one arm, and frantically rubs his face on the arm? you know it's just the standard cat-tactic, where he's trying to be aggressively cute so that i am forced to reach out and touch his belleh and he can then sink his fangs into my wrist. but i realized that after a few minutes of the squirming, he just lays there, totally still, staring off into the middle distance...he's playing dead. i think he's trying to make me think he's dead, and therefore completely harmless, so of course i'll try to touch him and then he can bite me. (you know, it might work a little better if he isn't so excited that his tail keeps thrashing around while he's playing possum, but still, you have to admire his ingenuity.)

Playing dead

can i just point out the fat-belly cleavage above? can you see it there, below the "vest button"?

Just plain crazeeee

and to close this post, a little contrast. i get the crazy "i'll pretend to be roadkill so i can bite BITE BITE her!" smudge, and jeff gets the "i just wuv you so much, daddy" smudge.

No more puter - love me NOW

yeah, that sounds fair.

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nature boy.

2009-10-27T21:10:56Z

no matter how much we try, we never can keep squeak inside for more than a few hours. he just loves it outside too much. and of course, if you don't let him out when he asks, he pees on you.

Treed

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i am very busy at work.

2009-10-23T15:07:49Z

today i watched minnie swiftly and efficiently kill a cricket that had wandered into our office. being a proper lady, she had the good manners to stand aside and look sheepish while mom swept the remains outside.

then i had to run to the hillbillies' house on the corner and tell them their 2 dogs had escaped their yard AGAIN and please come get your barking rats out of our yard. (how on earth they have the balls to look me right in the eye and say they have no idea how the dogs keep getting out is beyond me - since there are several clearly visible gaps in the fence where wood has rotted away. like i said -- hillbillies.)

right now, i'm typing this with only my right hand because i'm using my left to try and hold minnie back from attacking the pages of a contract i'm scanning as they pass into the output tray.

just another day at the office.

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happy halloween

2009-10-21T16:13:49Z

in honor of halloween, i present photographic proof that ghosts DO exist!

Spoooooooky

and in case you haven't seen it before, this is how the apparition first appeared to us on my mother's deck:

Hungry little ghostie

she sure grew up pretty... but she still frowns at us.

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smudge is so photogenic

2009-10-19T01:50:46Z

i was spinning him around in jeff's chair, and trying to get pictures of what he looks like when the chair stops spinning. most of the time, he sees me pick up the camera and this is what i get:

NO PICTURES

i did manage to get one quick shot. you can almost see the dizzy/crazy in his eyes.

Spin me more mommy more more

when jeff is home, smudge spends most of the day sleeping on the desk next to him, sprawled out amongst the cables and gadgets and other geekerie. now, jeff may tell you i'm obsessed with smudge, constantly drooling over his cuteness, but I am not the one who took about 317 pictures of him the other day while he slept there. and then couldn't wait to show me when i got home -- "look, paws! look! ear hair!"

yeah, i'm definitely the one too involved with my cat.

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alley-oop

2009-10-16T15:07:42Z

poor lardbutt smudgie -- he's having trouble jumping onto counters. i've seen him try for the kitchen sink and fall short quite a few times lately. and this morning, he tried twice to jump up to the bathroom sink for his morning drink, and he just couldn't make it. he sat there looking up at the counter with the saddest look, so i heaved him up onto the counter. and i'm telling you, it was quite a lot of cat to pick up.

i'm going to have to cut back on his pounce treats.

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a jumble of cats.

2009-10-07T21:17:10Z

i made this collage in picasa for a twitter background. kind of a visual interpretation of my surroundings.

Cathouse

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